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June 19th, 2006 by nilsayirez The Pique-ture
Our Malay race is still living with the hope of getting all the backups from the government and complacently believes that their children are forever salvaged by their special rights. Tun Dr. M was undeniably right about speaking against the ‘tongkat’ thing. Some times, it makes us sort of feel thwarted in the head that despite all the privileges this unique, indigenous ethnic have been blessed with, we have yet to discover and make full use of the benefits to our advantages. I, for so many times, cant help feeling amazed by recurring stories about how a rubber tapper’s son or a paddy-field worker’s daughter or any other people without life’s privileges actually dare to go the distance of hardship and finally manage to secure scores of distinction, be it in the realm of academics, professionalism, etc. Whereas, in contrast, some of fortunately well-endowed malays tend to get pampered and lax upon the lavishness and daddy-kasi (as opposed to dedikasi).
Malay TV viewers are still generally so bloated with all these below-70-IQ-point-or-so kinds of programs and half-baked malay shows and movies. Sentimental mushy lovey soppy types of songs are still being fed into the ears of our youths by the ever-sprouting, much-celebrated, home-grown shmaltzy male and female singers and self-absorbed ‘rock’ bands. Tak habis-habis dengan unsur muzik yang stereotipikal, sedangkan rakan-rakan kita di seberang
sana udah bisa jauh melewati batas persada hasil keterobosan segenap mentalitas seni gitu… kellasss gue ngomong indon : )
Moreover, the mass are just so blindly receptive of foreign reality tv shows and western influences- some of which are in contrast to our own sanctionable eastern styles and values. I wonder what happened to that reflective cry by Tun Dr. M - "Our own mould". Have we not been any cognizant just yet? With the likes of AF and MI and FF and MC and apa da lagi… typical malays just simply cant get any better than just being held captive audience. Thank God I am never a follower, nor am I even a watcher. And now they even have AQ? Is it really sensible to contest people on the Holy Test.. uh.. you know what? Whatt-everr..
Muslims tend to get extremely proud upon hearing of any non-Muslim’s intention to embrace Islam, whereas at the same time these very muslims themselves are not keeping adherence to what they claim to believe in. Kepoh berzaman-zaman pasal Armstrong dengar azan masa di bulan, kemudian balik ke bumi peluk Islam. Did anybody (besides me) manage to catch up with what he said during his visit to
Malaysia last year? Heh… On a different note, we muslims have never learnt just yet from the Tsunami-wiped-out Acheh incident. No further comments on these two facts.
Malays are so profound at speech especially when it comes to politic or leadership talks, albeit it is a fact well known that they hardly walk the talk. Cakap kemain gah, langit pun boleh runtuh. Tapi bab perlaksanaan? hmmph. Itu belum masuk bab ‘phD’ lagi tuh… lagi hebat orang Melayu nih. Aku pun menasihatkan diri sendiri nih. And one thing that I can reflect thus far from the real world is that our people take things too personally when it comes to a, say, conflict or social discord. Mat sallehs for instance, as I have observed, when they are convened in a meeting, really exude all that they deem worthwhile to be shared and discussed. Argumentatively, that is. Therefrom, breed all these lashings and counter-lashings, table-stamping, tantrum-throwing, and what not. To top it off, all these malicious F words plus damning SOB phrases are expressible. And when they take a pause for a few minutes of recess, such arguing heads simply exchange laughter in a friendly banter. Done with recess, coming back to the meeting table, they come back to as before-mentioned bickerings. Why such happens? Merely for sheer pleasure of bringing out each other’s best. Tapi orang kita, baru cakap atau tegur sikit, terus ambik hati, dan mula dengki-mendengki, menghasut, menyantau, membatu api, dan macam-macam ‘me-’ lagi. Bila nak maju kalau macam nih?? Orang kita memang tak banyak buat, tapi lebih kias je. I am more of kiasu. Other people kiasu, I kiasi… tu je. The good way, of course.
And then there is this plague long infested in the institution of Malay culture regarding inheritance, especially financial. Their common and general frame of mind or attitude toward it is that the parents toil throughout their lives in order to earn their children a decent living, leaving ‘nothing’ significant behind for the children, and then expect the children to repeat the whole cycle of bread-earning when they grow up and at the same time support their old folks. Where’re the sanity and fairness in that? I mean… just look at the chinese in that they construe their children’s future financial continuity as the utmost importance. They work damn hard and would enjoy only a pittance of their income, saving up the rest for the sake of their posterity. They even have this piece of traditional philosophy which elucidates the long-lasting forbearance for wealth upkeep in the name of successive generations. One simple example- just go to any lame typical Malay and ask him/her about insurance or will-writing. And what would they say? – “Eleh… lambat lagi..”, “Famili saya bukannya ada penyakit pun”, “Taulah anak-anak saya nanti ambikkan”.
Question. If they want to wait on until they are deceased, diseased, or deprived and only then want to start thinking of taking up a plan, what good is all the coverage going to offer them and the surviving kids? I learnt a great deal of lesson out of this from an encounter with this chinese family. The story goes like this, the son converted into Islam, only to learn consequently that he was rejected by his family. But the shocker was, his dissenting father bequeathed a freaking heavy bag of cold hard cash and chided, “You still were once my son, this is the money I’ve been salting away for you all this while. Take it, and dont ever come back here”. Tapi kalau orang melayu, banyak ibu/bapa yang berharapan sebigini-“Ayah dan ibu dulu banyak habis duit tanggung famili kita (maksudnya ‘joli sana-sini’). Bila korang besar nanti, kerjalah rajin-rajin, tanggung la kitorang pulak”. Chisss!! And my friend once challenged me, “Ko pergilah tanya mana-mana 10 orang cina. 99.99% dah ambik insurans untuk anak dia. Tapi banyak orang Melayu ni, masa muda tak beringat. Bila dah tua, bersara, sakit, baru terhegeh-hegeh nak menyesal tak cukup duit!”.
Malaysians are in deficit of the paradigm to self-upgrade from the nook of annual reading rate of 3 pages on average (figure so quoted by a resource I chanced upon last year). A motivator once told me that in
Japan , the pupils rush to bookstores during recess for some dose of knowledge. I wonder when this is ever becoming possible with our schoolkids. Or, just take a look at the indundations of manga in
Japan alone. How do we think their kids are churned of their creativities? Thru this culture of mangas and animes, of course. And how about that in our beloved country? With the likes of URTV? Mangga? Remaja? F*** off!! Going against the mainstream renders me on full alert with what Ahli Fikir dictates best:-
"… dia angkuh, kita mesti patuh,
acuh tak acuh, endah tak endah,
buat lawak bodoh selamba, biar kita melopong,
biar kita menganga, biar mereka buat apa mereka suka,
jangan melawan, jangan membantah,
janganlah degil, kena ikut perintah,
kena banyak diam, biar apa orang kata kita tawa dalam duka,
kecut takut, kalut kolot, terkunci mulut…"
And where the heck(@^#*&~!!) are all the millionaires and billionaires of this country realizing the fact that there is still a lot of people suffering and living on the breadline as broadcast on TV3’s ‘Bersamamu’? Why must we wait for media and philanthropic organizations alike to step in and lend their hands in order to ease the plight of these people? I strongly believe that if all, or at least half the number, of these super-rich people in this country join in for such noble cause, there’s hardly ever going to exist such needy and unfortunate citizens among us. Alas! The true fact is, the gap just keeps getting wider and wider.
And just look at the fact that we muslims have been greatly blessed with and ’salvaged’ by what Allah has Invented particular to us- the term ‘HALAL’. Think about it. By virtue of this 4-letter jawi-spelled word, orang melayu (who, to my knowledge, are generally muslims) are able to place themselves in fair share of market segments, domestic and international, since non-muslims are not ‘originally’ acknowledged of such concept. Imagine if muslims are never pre-conditioned upon halalness, "Melayu pun tak makan kat kedai melayu lagi dahh…", as my former boss lamented further, "…kalau takdela sistem halal, tengok je la berapa ramai orang melayu pergi makan di kedai bukan Islam, yang belum tentu halalnya (syubhat). Peniaga-peniaga melayu pun boleh bungkus sebab tak tahan persaingan. Dulu lain, zaman 60an, orang Islam selamba je makan kat kedai kopi ah chong, muthusamy". Tepat sekali. Yang sedihnya, sedangkan sekarang ni pun, in the midst of government’s encouraging move towards HALAL hub and HALAL-isation across fields including financial, food, and agriculture, masih lagi kedapatan (ada ke perkataan ni?) orang melayu yang berduyun-duyun makan di kedai tak ‘bertaraf’ halal. And this sense of realization makes me even prouder of becoming a subject to the Almighty.
Get Smart
Our children at schools are still being brought up in ‘latih-tubi’ and text-book-bound system and rarely given their due rights to ‘think’. Instead, still largely depend on learning-by-rote regime. I remember from my varsity years when a lecturer ranted to the class, "These kids nowadays are being suppressed from being creative and are overwhelmed by ‘latih-tubi’ style of exercises at school. One of my colleagues, who is a professor, got lambasted by a schoolteacher merely because his daughter was sharing off some different opinion from the teacher’s in class. Creativity was paid unduly. It is this kind of schoolteacher that is the ‘devil’ !". Ha-ha. I am nothing more than to agree with him. And only since recently that our big brother is reviewing the scholastic academia against exam-oriented mentality.
I also remember what a friend of mine said, "Student kat
Malaysia ni belajar hafal formula. They are good when it comes to sums, and relatively poor at conceptualization / reasoning. Sebaliknya, bebudak kat
UK diberi penekanan dalam konsep, bukannya sums". Coming to ponder on such premise, therein lies the infallibility. You see, if a graduate engineer is asked by the lay public / corporate client about a particular design failure, which one should he or she elucidate by, first? Logical facts or mathematical illustration? - The first one, of course. For instance -
And I just cant help feeling sorry for the grave news headlined quite every year pertaining to the inability, or much more of incompetence, of graduates to land themselves a job, due mainly to poor command of english language. And who might this group of people be, largely? The malays, are they not?
I simply dont understand why orang kita kurang ambil peluang mempelajari dan memperkasakan diri mereka dengan kemampuan berbahasa selain bahasa Melayu sedangkan we malays are so gifted, All Praise due to Allah, with ‘flexible’ tongues. Take a look at other races which are so dense with their own natural-born lingoes. Yet, they still strive to elicit proficiencies of english language and what’s more, malay language. Get a load of this. Bebudak cina dan
india bagus dalam TIGA bahasa (sekurang-kurangnya) - bahasa ibunda mereka, bahasa melayu, dan bahasa inggeris. Kisah benar- I have a Terengganuite-born chinese friend of mine. This guy not only speaks cantonese (plus probably other chinese dialects as well), but also is he good in english and bahasa melayu. Siap petah dengan loghat Terengganu lagi! And this is just so commonplace among the east-coast non-malays. But what about our people, in general? Ehem.. mari kita lihat. Bahasa melayu? - ya. Bahasa inggeris? - tenggelam timbul. Bahasa-bahasa tambahan yang lain? - jauh sekali… Dahlah ada lidah yang mudah lentur, otak yang bijak, dan HAK ISTIMEWA. Tapi masih tak rebut peluang! Tak ada rasa malu ke???????? Bangkitla Melayu, woi!! Aku bukan kritik orang melayu yang tak berpeluang nak pergi belajar tinggi, sebab mungkin belum lagi rezeki diorang. Tapi aku sakit hati tengok sikap sebilangan lain orang melayu yang berkemampuan tapi jenis TAK SEDAR DEK UNTUNG nih!! Chiss! Nasib baik bukan keju. Kalau keju, aku dah ngap dah.
Of plagiarism? That’s another one whole different chapter. Thanks to Allah, I was never the kind of scholar that guzzled every material contained in a book I read. I always tend to challenge ideas, even now. Once, my lecturer mooted the concept of G.I.G.O in the realm of academics, which stands for "Garbage In, Garbage Out". Meaning being whatever crap that a student reads up, he/she must NOT blindly accept and reproduce it. And it’s pretty common everywhere around the world. But, the common scenario today is that, they still live in such system whereby they fall for and regurgitate the same lame misleading inputs. Thus, the prevalent G.I.G.O - Garbage In, GOSPEL Out. dang!
And one fact that used to sicken me a lot was the case of, during my studying years, malay students slacking up on their study. Datang kelas dah la lambat, masuk-masuk je, cari attendance list dulu. Once signed, puas hati, and that made the sufficiency of their education for that day. I once asked an engineer friend of mine from other university about his past fellow comrades, and he uttered in the same tone. Tutoring time? Hampagas aku… And another thing, on which I am not sure if it is rightful for me to lament, has to do with the way these students burn a hole in their pocket on unnecessary stuff. “Aku bila dapat duit elaun bulan ni, nak beli jersey arr..”.
Jersey ? All those scholarships/loans, which came by through the daily tough grind of farmers and roughnecks, go all the way into buying a freaking f**king jersey?? I wonder why those moneys go to the hands of these wasteful dumba**es. And some even fritter it away on car make-ups and mine-is-the-latest-and-most-sophisticated-in-town handphones! Should it not be more justified to be allocated to the really poor and needier candidates?
Falling Prey
Many muslims (and that includes me) are slipping away from the basic edge of fundamentals with regard to their religious dues and rights, and this includes me in the picture as well. For example, do many of us realize that many of the daily activities and things we go through and get done for are, to a certain extent, stemming from anti-sunnah approaches? Things like valentine’s day, lavatory bowl, necktie, facial accessories, or even toothpaste, etc. are ever-dominant. Never do I have anything against some of these basic life’s necessities. As long as they proffer recognizable benefits, the holy religion can tolerate. As a matter of fact, I consume or apply them myself. But, truth be told, many have been invented and innovated in a pretense of global freedom and modernization. We, unconsciously, overlook the salient points underlying these media of gratification and necessities, and fall prey as guinea pigs or lap dogs to these ’surreptitious’ masterminds. And they are actually laughing at us.
Thou art looking, but seeing nothing,
art listening, but hearing nothing,
art scenting, but smelling nothing,
art sensing, but feeling nothing,
art seeking, but finding nothing,
Be not ignorant of thine own conscience,
Only, be conscientious of thine ignorance.
Bear in mind that things are sent to try us, and only scanty bit of us can judge them apart. Nevertheless, I have this habit of discerning things, surrealistically. And I am, Alhamdulillah, unlike those types of people who so vocally claim their conviction against, for instance, ‘amerika’ for her under-the-guise-of-anti-terrorism war-waging policies, but these very same people themselves live by what they abhor, e.g. smoking (whereby part of the cigarette-purchasing money goes into the fund that’s earning the life and activities of one ingenious breed of people underpinning amerika syarikat, what’s more the undeniable fact of its fatal detrimentalness to health), but such contradiction is empathically self-forgiven when it comes to venting on their own vanities.
Jumping on the Bandwagon
Orang melayu ni pulak bangsa yang jenis cepat je mengikut, meniru, e.g. singing reality tv shows, dan ada pulak yang bertemakan cinta/jodoh. This is where emotional, tear-jerking, heart-wretched reactions ‘reign supreme’. And this is also where relevant bodies/companies rake in fortunes out of voting-via-sms thingy. TOSSING OUT the vying participants one by one, week by week, is ALL PART of the PROTOCOL. Right at the end of each episode, ada pulak yang kata, "Nobody deserves to leave", nangis. "Peluang awak sampai di sini sahaja", nangis. Come on laa.. The objective of such kinds of programmes themselves is to finally produce the SOLE winner, secara adatnya mestilah ada yang dibuang. "Nobody.. (sob sob..) deserves.. (hoo hoo..) to leave" konooon. soo STUPID!! Get real la, people. And guess what. They are actually craving for more and more of this sort of things! The voting market for it just cant help bursting at the seams! dang! dang!
Nabi s.a.w dan para sahabat r.a bersusah-payah mengambil masa bertahun-tahun meruntuhkan sistem pemujaan berhala di Mekah 1400 tahun lampau. Dan bapa kita, Nabi Ibrahim a.s dipulau oleh kaumnya kerana menghancurkan berhala. Alih-alih, banyaknya pulak muslim di negara ‘Islam’ kita ni yang menyambut baik stail mungkar nih.. Apa omputih buat, semua kita nak ikut. Tu la dia contoh ketidakrelevanan di sini.
Para nabi dulu dakwah umatnya bahawa berhala ( dalam bahasa inggeris dipanggil ‘idol’) TIDAK boleh dipuja kerana semuanya itu tak hidup; tak boleh bercakap, mendengar, hatta mendatangkan sebarang faedah kepada pemujanya. Tapi, zaman sekarang ni lain pulak… ‘berhala’ (iaitu idol ataupun idola) ada yang hidup, boleh bercakap dan mendengar. Boleh nyanyi lagii… dang! dang! dang!
To Rant is To Vent
Things just dont seem to be fair for me; friends got their ways well into interview short-listing and some even managed to secure an employment. But not me… despite the fact that I am experienced by two years compared to them who are not even half that. And fate dictates in mysterious ways. They say they have a big-time streak of opportunities in the oil and gas industry. So, in a single file as any other lay graduates, I applied. But so far, then, no feedback whatsoever. There’s this scarce saying back at university, "Excellent education background doesn’t guarantee a promising career life". This is where the truth is stranger than fiction.
I once talked about some negligent jamaah making noise with their tone-rich handsets. Another thing that saddens me is the lack of consciousness, or should I call discipline (?), on the sanctity of ’saff’ in solat. Kepoh orang kita whine about and lambast at muslims and malays in general not doing seriously enough to maintain unity. But when it comes to lining up before The Almighty, alas! Never do I see a straight line. Itu pun kalau orang-orang sedemekian datang berjamaahlahh. If I am not mistaken, zaman sahabat dulu siap guna pedang ke apa untuk luruskan saff. Betapa pentingnya perihal menjaga saff nih. Tapi orang kita nih, saff yang mudah pun tak terjaga, apa lagi nak bersatu padu. No wonder, let alone the number of qariah that attends regular prayer at mosques or musollas. Every time I take some 100-m walk to the surau, ramai aku tengok org melayu yang melepak depan rumah, cuci kereta, borak2 dengan jiran, baca suratkhabar. Buat ‘dono’ je kat azan… sedih betul. ni la ustaz kata, rumah depan masjid pun, kalau telinga boleh mendengar tapi Allah dah ‘pekakkan’ orang2 macam ni, pakai speaker sebesar gajah afrika gemuk gedempul yg menghidap obesiti kronik (I am being hyperbolic here) pun, masih tak boleh dengar azan jugak. kesian.. kesian..
The fact that I practice qigong exercise almost everyday at the park draws a lot of the other folks’ attention. One even asked, "kat mana ko belaja kung-fu, hah?". aaada kee? cheh! The common landscape of malaysian mentality is that, they like to stare at the unusual, although nothing is unusual about it at all. When what we do becomes a center of attention, how are we supposed to mentally concentrate one maaa?. And one thing that irritates my visual sense is the ever common plague of pool-littering. The park has a number of signages around it warning, "Dilarang memancing di kawasan tasik ini". Nevertheless, still people fish with ‘pancing’. By law, it would do no harm nor offence to use nets there. Hmmm…
Another clear-cut example is the case with traffic accidents. Malaysians who chance upon a road accident, even a minor fender-bender, always have a hard time driving on by. Instead, they tend to slow down their vehicles, gaze avidly at the scene and act as if they are some kind of at-the-scene reporters or something, “Ooo.. ni mesti sebab bawak laju la ni”, “Ngantuk la tuu, kalau tak pun, mabuk…”. Ek elee. Kalau bukan nak tolong, JALAN JE LAA!! Macam laa tak pernah tengok kemalangan. Cant we just let the authorities take care of it? Tak kurang jugak mereka yang nak ambik nombor plet. Alas! As a result, the whole line of traffic swells up into a more-than-two-hours congestion! And it’s not because of that accident, but due to this overly concerned ‘jakun’ attitude! dang!
Also, not forgetting the fact that my next-door chinese neighbor has a cute daughter that I havent even been able to have a friendly chat with. Only ‘hi’ so far, on one occasion. That was exactly a year-and-a-half ago when I first moved in to Taman Seri Gombak. one day just recently I happened to catch a glimpse of her walking out the gate into her sister’s proton iswara in baju kurung. alamak… mana boleh tahan.. ow! I meant, baju kurung donned by the cute girl, not the iswara. Anyway, if only I could speak cantonese and strike up a neighborly light conversation with her. yum! yum!
The fact that people around me whom I deal with keep saying that I am good or something, they in actual fact dont actually have any idea what’s going on. If only they knew how much I envied every little achievement every other people had and garnered. The pride that I unconsciously or unwillingly develop steer me away from my desire to keep my self conspicuous. Also many a time that people call me smart or talented or something, just bugs me. Yeah, I guess they may be right, since I think I am one of the only few people on earth that can tell the differences between the nouns "practicality", "practicalness" and "practicability". And ideas, All PRAISE due to Allah, just keep streaming incessantly across my conscious and subconscious minds. There was this saying, "I am a man gifted with RESOURCES. All I need is just ACCESS". Well, I actually quoted that one out from Smallville as said by young Lex Luthor. But, yeah, it is true. Tons of luminous ideas, unfortunately can’t stage them to the fullest benefits due to the dearth of props and tools.
Journey to the Center of the Earth
The fact that I have been living my wonderful life for the last 30 yrs (almost) under the light of other people’s misjudgment – seems to remain a status quo as yet. Most of the things I do seem to inadvertently conjure perplexity among people around, especially colleagues and peers alike. yeah, well…it takes all kinds to make a world. And what do these people normally have in mind? "eh, Zeri! ko ni biar betul??". dang!! What choice have I, but to live and let live.
The fact that I have grown up INCREDULOUS of things and happenings around me, has brought to construe and comprehend that the world is only a stage or play of so many consummate actors and actresses; so full of deceits and lures, what’s more misperception on me by most people. And having been enlivened thru this unique upbringing has rendered me mature, as muttered by Queen Latifah, “We are made strong by what we overcome”.
How I hate the occasions when shortcomings that have befallen on me were actually the results of other people’s foibles and failures! For instance - I once attended an interview at a world-renown corporation and made it to the second round, which was going to be a group interview. Allah knows how much I braced my self up for it. When the very day came, my group of four people failed to come up with the desired design (which was one of the group members’ idea). As a result, I ended up flunking on the whole series of candidacy (of mine particularly). There went my chance.. all down the drain. It was a clear case of one or two bad eggs rotting the others. And I was the casualty.
Speaking of interviews, boy do I hate interviews. One experience had recorded my somber expectations about job application. There was this session that I went a few years ago, in fact my very first interview since graduation. Judging from the fact that my mind was still raw and overly excited about being short-listed, I screwed up big-time throughout the process. A couple of interviewers, and one of them was sleeping right before my eyes. At the end, the slumberous guy snapped up and whispered to his partner, "ngantuk betul la". dang! I was put down for good. Not long after that I was called in for a screening test at SONY Bangi. The first was a three-parter intellectual MCQ test consisting of MATHS, IQ, and ENGLISH. I strongly think I went very well with the IQ one. But after waiting for a week, the answering lady informed of my failure to get thru to the next round. And there were some that I did well on. The bane of going thru interview sessions proved to be quite an undulating, expectation-dashing, and unfavorable in many senses. As for internet job application- man! For so many years, they hardly ever worked for me. Jobst**t, Jobs*b, add**co and the likes, all for nothing. To me, nothing beats the personal effort of directly inquiring HR in person and send in resumes by hand.
Journey to the Center of the Heart
As my ki was becoming more and more intensified, consistency in practice had been shattered by pre-occupying work schedules. Hence, retarded my journey towards mastery of qi. Nonetheless, my breakthrough in ‘qigong-dome’ is further manifested in my discovery of heart (jantung / kokoro) as the pulse of things. I personally do not think it is that hard for anyone, in fact everyone, to achieve such wondrous feat
See whiteness in blackness,
see darkness in brightness,
tap silence amidst loudness,
the heart beats, the rhythm flows,
and the body dances,
have, from many to ONE (inspired by Jalaluddin Rumi)
Start with eternity,
Forgive any misshapenness,
Reinforce any coincidences.
I want, thus I hope, thus I pray,
Cast me steadfast, and I wish for it to last
Furthermore, the significant sharpening of senses and elevation in degree of clairvoyance have somewhat been knotting me a closer tie with The Almighty, bit by bit that is. Above all, purity of heart is the ultimate goal to achieve. Am I pre-destined to be Sufic one day? Wallahahua’lam. Life goes on
Journey to the Center of the Hearth
An-Naar itu maha dahsyat! Na’uudzubillaahimindzaalik
UNEXPECTATION and EVENTUALITY rule.
The fact that all expectations are not met tires me down. Once, I complained at my NLP guru, "everything that I expect, I dare to pronounce that none is ever met". And his tenet of teaching "the rule of UNEXPECTATION" manifests to be bearing its own undisputable palpacy. All that I have ever lived by ever since is just HOPE, mere HOPE, and nothing but HOPE. NEVER EXPECT!!! ‘Expectation’ has its very own ugly means of shutting down chances. One unforsakeable fact is the twist of fate that has been encircling my dainty life. In line with HOPE mentioned before, many of my prayers are, I’d dare to say, fulfilled. Yup! Prayers or DO’A are built on the truss of hope, not expection. Nonetheless, as Allah has been All-Generous, my prayers are often realized in ways not directly similar as I would imagine them to turn out. And many times as well, my do’a are not met, by mysterious virtue of ‘blessing in disguise’. So mysterious and quite frustrating that I almost came to the point of giving up or being ungrateful on such events, only to learn later that the reason Allah did not grant my wish is as a means of protection against the worldly misfortunes (as a probable result of granting). That’s where I learn that, ‘counting my blessings’ is always a part of faith I need to hold on to. Alhamdulillah.
THE VERY FACT IS - THERE ARE TOO MANY OVERWHELMING AND MIND-DAUNTING FACTS THAT ARE HARD FOR ME TO ARTICULATELY FACTUALIZE THEM OUT HERE!! and who even freakin’ cares…
